Very often I observe people, both men and women, who find themselves facing a terrible phenomenon: they have met a person, a possible partner, a possible love and they begin to live this experience from fear, anxiety and maneuvering. Internet search engines become the daily resource to find the perfect strategy in order to avoid the disenchantment of that new love, the escape, the end. “How to make your guy fall madly in love”, “Ten steps to keep him from leaving” and as many crazy titles as you can imagine we find positioned left and right. The fundamental reason for this is the fear of loss, of the fatal outcome that time and again haunts our love experiences and the emptiness that follows, that thick cloud of suffering that follows abandonment, that feeling that “I will not be able to go through the same thing again”. So many times, the person enters awkwardly and stumbling into this new relationship because he or she is subconsciously convinced of his or her subsequent failure, thus propitiating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Other times he or she withdraws prematurely. This is a very common situation; in fact, I have experienced it myself several times in my life.
From my personal and particular point of view, supported by internal findings of my own presence, by my own history, today I am convinced that nothing and no one, not even the fear of failure, has the right to prevent us from living life as it is presented to us. Everyone will have to live their own story and live with all the consequences. Who can guarantee that eventually you will not suffer another disappointment in love? No one! In reality, it is extremely difficult to predict at the beginning how a relationship will end. This will depend on the construction of the bond, the emotional health of the partners, the context and environment, and even chance. Faced with all these variables, the only thing you can do is immerse yourself in the experience, give yourself – even wobbly and with doubts, but give yourself. Flow without anxiety.
Over the years, I have learned that, when it comes to love after love:
Each person, as long as they do not jeopardize their safety and the safety of others, has the right to search in life for that which fulfills them and makes them happy, as many times as necessary until they find it.
We will always have tools, internal or external, to overcome love failures.
Deep, true, and committed love really does exist.
Love strategies rarely work in the short term. In the long term, they never work. The other person will always end up perceiving your true energy, the reality behind the strategy.
Moral precepts and social conventions are relative matters. Love is an absolute matter.
It is not possible to learn from an experience that was not lived.
A good relationship can be built from emotional openness, but not from fear.
Pretending not to be afraid of ending up with a broken heart is a strategy that separates instead of uniting.
Love that is given, is never lost. It is energy that multiplies at every point in space/time.